Receiving the diagnosis of a life threatening illness is traumatic. The shock triggers automatic coping strategies that can be counterproductive. For example a really common response is to "numb out" and become detached. Initially this may be helpful giving time to "catch our breath", the downside is that we will find it difficult to absorb information or make informed decisions about treatment. The opposite - being overwhelmed by emotions and fear - has a similar effect, so again things that need attention may pass us by. 

Research into factors that increase life expectancy in this type of situation indicates that the optimum response is one of taking an active part in our own treatment rather than a passive one. Such a response is natural for some of us, but not all of us and we may need the encouragement and support of a counselling relationship. 

Other difficulties that arise are often associated with family and friends. They want us to be well and this can be a huge unspoken pressure. The need to discuss our fears and day-to-day outlook with them may not be possible. In an attempt to raise our spirits loved ones often inadvertently "shut us up" with platitudes or reassurances that skim over our worries without properly acknowledging them or giving us the opportunity to work through them. Sometimes it is our own tendency to minimise things that keeps family and friends at arms length and prevents us from receiving help and support. Counselling can be a "safe zone" in which to process things without fear of upsetting the other person and provides the support we need to help us, and our families, meet the challenges that life-threatening illness can bring